The New Year is just around the corner.
A festive atmosphere is wafting through the streets and homes. The old year is coming to an end. People are wishing it goodbye. For some the signals the end of a chapter. Marking a shift into greener pastures. To some it is a time of reminiscence. Holding on to the nostalgia of memories, eagerly waiting for a much more vibrant new year.
People are letting their hair down, forgetting their troubles to relax and hoping for the coming year 2020 to be better than the present one. This is a time of the year people spend their time with their loved ones. Also, this is the time people make resolutions and promises to themselves. To turn over a new leaf.
Most often, the resolutions are either to cut down on what people perceive are negative traits or habits. Or it is either a promise made to themselves about becoming a better version of themselves by getting into some sort of activity.
But are these activities and goals presented to yourself determined by being self aware or are these promises come to you as suggestions from your near and dear ones? Or are they instruments to better yourself so that you fit in? So that you can confirm to the latest fads of the society.
As we grow up, we build ideals of success, luxury, happiness inside our minds. We set forth on a quest to achieve these dreams. They slowly morph into goals and ambitions. In a society obsessed with success, we are taught to strive to achieve them. Always under the microscope, trying to showcase you are on your destined path, we tend to lose ourselves.
With an end goal that can take at least 10 to 15 years of your life and only assuming that to be a definition of success, we forget to celebrate our little success. We forget how to derive pleasure and happiness from life. The destination consumes us so much that we forget to enjoy the journey.
Falling into the abyss of obsession and desperation to get it right, we fail to notice our progress. As we lose ourselves in the process, we lose our self-worth and self-esteem. Always waiting for validation to make you feel good. When your emotional spectrum becomes entirely dependent on external factors is when you realise you are on course to hit rock bottom.
On my own journey coming out after I hit rock bottom, I went in for counselling. One thing that my counsellor told stayed with me. Though I did nod my head, I did not truly understand it. Until now. She always said, “Baba Vijay (as she liked to call me), you need to learn to celebrate your successes.”
It did not make sense to me then. Now, after failing multiple times to adhere to exercise regimens I made for myself and a lot of self thought, I am beginning to understand what she was trying to communicate. I wanted to get into things because people pointed out that those things were good for me. In order to gain acceptance I used to look for their validation. In this search for acceptance, I overlooked my own achievements.
Stimulating my gray matter, in solitude, going through and examining my thoughts I realised what it meant on off chance. I had just come back after eating the delicious snack of ‘pani puri’. I satisfied my craving. The pleasure I derived out of it made me feel good. It was like a hit of dopamine. I was happy that I did what I wanted to do.
The train of thought made me realise my growth in the last few months. It helped me see my personal achievements. Recently, I got selected to be the content head of my year for the sports fest ‘In True Spirit‘, being organised by my college. I am going to gift myself with a book for getting selected to be given the opportunity to lead the team. My next bit of achievement is going to successfully handle the event.
These things may seem mundane. They might be a part or an extension of your everyday life. They might not stand out much against something big like one of your more intense desires coming to life in front of your lives. It could be getting into a relationship with your crush or you bagging your dream job. These are result oriented outcomes that you have envisioned for a while. But during your journey to get there, the smaller milestones on the way are ignored.
In ignoring these you are ignoring yourself. And in this case, ignorance is not bliss. So, stop ignoring yourself. This new year, resolve to start celebrating your success. Celebrate yourself.
Wish you a happy 2020! 😀